6 Effective Ways to Deal with a Breakup
When it comes to breakups, all we can think of is overwhelming emotions, including everything from hurt and betrayal to sadness, anger, and frustration. It is something that makes us feel like it’s the end of the world.
Research reveals that it takes at least 11 weeks to feel better fully after a dating relationship ends. It shows that the phase doesn’t go on forever. Getting over the breakup phase and moving on is very similar to a grieving process, which is very different for everyone. Consequently, don't force yourself to hold or set any timeframe. Many factors impact your healing process like how much period you were both together, the memories and traditions you shared.
Here are some steps to help you deal with a breakup.
Express and acknowledge your emotions
Expressing how you feel is the first step to recovery. With something ending, one can experience a set of ups and downs, sadness one moment and anger the next. Just try to accept and acknowledge the feeling. And as hard as it may feel, one has to face the feelings and deal with them honestly.
Controlling and managing access from social media
Whenever you see them on social media, having fun with friends, or achieving something, it would feel like you are experiencing the hurt and pain once again. If your ex is out of your sight, you won’t be bothered about what he or she is up to. It can be peaceful and comforting. Block him on social media so that you can focus on healing.
View the relationship objectively and learn from it
It may seem difficult, but one has to take an objective look at what the relationship was really like. To successfully do this, one has to stop looking at the positive side and dwelling on the good memories and experiences.
Try to figure out what went wrong and how you can handle it better in the future. Figure out if it even was your mistake. Often in a relationship, your identity is tightly wrapped up in it. After the split up, try to rediscover yourself outside the context of the relationship. Utilise this time to act on and achieve the goals you compromised on. Hurrying up to fill the void that one is experiencing without knowing about oneself or what one requires in a relationship is a huge blunder. It's a recipe for disaster and eventually will lead to more regrets.
Take care of yourself
Just because your relationship ended, it doesn’t mean you’re the culprit. You have to take care of yourself and focus not on what you might have done wrong but instead on what you can do to feel better at the moment. This might mean taking out time every day to pamper yourself in some way. It could be anything that you like doing.
It is not the time to drink unreasonably, overindulge in fast food, or repeatedly forget your priorities. Avoiding things or doing things that do not help you in the long term will not make you feel better. They are temporary fixes, and in the morning, your pain and discomfort will still be there. By investing time in self-care, one builds a sound relationship with oneself that will then transfer over to other relationships.
Stay socially active but do not rebound
Don’t isolate yourself. Focus on your social relationships. Experts have said that being more social is connected to decreased depression and longer life. Spend quality time with your friends and be active.
For some, it’s intriguing to ease the pain of a breakup by coming into a new relationship and exploring more, but “rebounding” isn’t always a smart move, as it can negatively affect your new relationship. Give yourself the freedom to grieve and move on entirely.
Journal your thoughts and feelings
It is considered a cathartic process to pour out whatever you are feeling with the help of paper and pen. The simple process of writing down our thoughts and emotions puts things into perspective and helps us to heal.
In this way, you can vent out feelings of anger, frustration, resentment and blame and yet keep them with yourself. It is very vital to realise that forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about just freeing yourself from being tied to the previous relationship.
Whether your breakup was one-sided or was a mutual decision, ending a connection is never an easy process. Be kind while handling yourself through this distressing phase and treat your breakup as a process. You can utilize the self-help content that is available in our curated content library to learn strategies to remain positive and stable or drop a message in HappiCHAT whenever you feel like venting and sharing your feelings.
